Monday, January 02, 2012

Whispers from my soul...

If I will get the chance to know you, I will tell you how lovely my life have become because of your brother.

How life was been great amidst adversities.

That God puts a light to shed both of us to understand our differences.

I will be proud of what you will become, for such success are delivered to those who perseveres.

I want to send your mom a birthday greeting as he treated my mom with respect and with such smiles my mom can share.

I want to tell your dad how happy he was, whenever they speak on the phone and discuss such tone of proud.

These were the thoughts that I want to share with you, and even in such words I will continue doing so, even if you haven't met me.

I will protect, what you have protected for long, I will care and most of all I will love whom you love that dear.

~ i will love you with all of my heart, my love, my light, my armor, my embrace~

Unbecoming? Just BEING ME!

January 3, 2012

Everything started magical which I never expected, that magic happened because it was my heart and my mind that made me jump to own it. I liked that feeling, even though I might not get approval or be rejected that time, I still grabbed that chance. A chance that I will always remember, and forever own.

Love is as powerful as the soul controls the mind and the body. Like angels were playing the chords of happiness. It all started with a down stair tunnel. The look behind his eyes were unexplainable, it made my heart jump. My feet struggled to hurry on to his steps, I still want to be with him at that time. I conclude that I enjoyed the moment, by not testing the waters instead by grabbing what we use to call CHANCE. I savor the moment, it will forever be fresh. Even at this point, I can completely recall.

It's not a matter of whose who, its a matter of just staying true to oneself and me as impure and weak. Yes, I say words that were strong, but my soul is weak in pushing me to do what is right. BUT I STILL DID IT and that was just the start of my journey with Miracle.

Lately, just like other relationships it will be put to a test. A test that I was not completely ready. It caught me unguarded, unprepared, it was completely unpredictable. You know what, that moment was really a shake of my stand. For I will not wish to end such marvelous feeling. The feeling of being taken care, love, understood, valued, appreciated and in circumstances of different beliefs. With him, I was able to revisit my faithful roots, a recall of whom I use to be. It made me fear my tomorrow, for it will compromise my now. My fear of not holding up, can possibly break me again.

I just compromised a bond that actually helped me gained my momentum from the start. I was afraid to lose Miracle. My mind was thinking aloud completely of my past, which shouldn't be a thought to begin with. I have learned how possessive I was, how selfish I have become, how immature it was of me to own someone and caged it like a slay. I will not allow that to happen again.

With love when it's that powerful, too powerful that it eats you whole. The world seems too magical and surreal and who wouldn't wanted such feeling. Too much though such like overdose is overkill. I have learned from that experience that I am torn in between myself and my overview of change. Yes, were ought to change as it is by chance that we learned lessons of life of such abundance that you have to take change. However, in such magnitude of love - relationships are bound for adjustments and not by completely changing. Change will always come with two sides of it. A good one or a bad one. Either way you will choose only one. In my case, I didn't rather I adjusted to what I believe and what the other believed. It took a pain dose in me, that feared me to lose someone whom become so dear to me. I'm taking all the pieces of blame that I put to myself. I prayed harder ever than before and begged to have the light be given to me. With God miracle happens. I started seeing angles of life that I haven't seen before. Now I am better and back to being ME! The marvelous thing about it is, I was able to sustain the LOVE in ME.

That experience taught me a lot of fruitful lessons that I will always be thankful for. That today is always special as it was a gift of love - a value of life. That tomorrow is about to happen that I shouldn't be worried about. My Miracle will happen everyday. For my Miracle is love, a life, a journey to my being of my impurities to become a light of what I can become.

Thank you for your gift of love.
"Tonight, I say this with my heart, swelling with joy. I will continue to love because I was born to love and loved, by you! ~Miracle

~ i am still me with you, i am beautiful when you're around, your love is bizarre and I love you so ~

Friday, June 17, 2011

Post Davao - after

It’s almost a year that I haven’t post to my blog; I even wished that it is still active and working. The post Davao experience is something that I always recall. It is a remark of what I have accomplished and enjoyed at my young age. I want to thank Christian for pushing me to do what I can actually do, to Christopher for being patient with us and for accommodating us all throughout Davao. To Rain and your family for the generosity that you’ve shown and for letting me crash for a day at your humble place. I miss the longanisa already. I am wishing you you’re success.

The last stay in Davao was such a big bang. We went to the Crocodile Farm where you could see beautiful creatures big and small. It was PANGIL that caught my attention, he was that huge. There you could see variations of birds, smallest up to the friendly ostrich. I took pictures and all in the mini zoo as they call it. On the other side of the Avalon is the cultural museum of Davao. It offers scenery of Davao’s finest heritage culture. The facade of the old bahay kubo, the evolution of community and their way of life is captured on each different era’s and relinquished by the replica of the houses created in the past. I really loved the open kubo that shows the veranda and the small stairs inviting us to climb.
Time passes so quickly, and I am about to leave. We had dinner at SHUTOKIL – an eat all you can resto for a cost of Ph99.00. Be it alamang and manga, humba, prawns, suso, kuhol, fresh see weeds, lumpia, talaba, puto, kutsinta, buko pandan and more. Such a mouth watery delicacies that Davao has to offer. What is Durian Ice cream for dessert, at first I was hesitant but at first taste I even asked if that can be bagged to Manila. Christian and Topeng did enjoy my company so as their company with me. I will be grateful that friendships that we have is bound to be protected and treasured forever. May you continue loving one another for it provided a mark in my memory. Experiencing bigger than I thought I couldn’t do is something majestic to my existence. Thank you and cheers to our friendship!

= i am the love your soul has ever longed, but you keep on running... =

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

A Letter for Arys

“Love somehow is a joke, it will give a hang time to think and absorb if it is merely a funny message or an inverted layer that has been playing us all along”

What just transpired is the reaction of my egoistic half, that tells me that I am not fit for the other half or the other way around - That the other half has his own will to decide for his fate.

I just can’t bare the limits of what I caused myself into. The other half have chosen what would be the best for himself. I am too much open as to what I feel what I say and do, because of that such marvelous excitement that doesn’t allow me to compose further. The other half is not just expressive as I do; each individual has their own patters of reactions.

I drowned myself thinking that the other half will somehow feel the same way I do. The other half just did, feel not the same as I do. I was precautious of what it will lead me to, I decided to endure the pain but I don’t want it to last that long. The other half has given me enough courage to be inspired and enthusiastic again on what I normally do, the other half can just take it away from me anytime, whenever he wanted to. Or I at most have the power to end everything at my will.

I am making it too difficult for myself to forget it, for it was one of the few things that I don’t do the most, because I have experienced the bad habit of it before, but I still did for the sake of following what my heart desires. Being true to my heart, which I have fallen in love with the other half. The other half wouldn’t realize that much, for he knew from the start, maybe or maybe not whichever is true the other half doesn’t need to explain further.

I decided to gaze alone, thinking what could be the reasons behind such conclusion. The other half realized that it was better to end soon.
Either way, it was days now that I have flicked myself to infliction, unhealthy of me. I have to move forth and start again, this time I hope I will be able to see the other side of what the other half can’t give.

The other half will just be as good as he was and will know what someone like I have learned loving him true. It can be not in the usual way of loving him, because I am unusual to the normal way of life.

Finally, we’ve met the deadliest deadline and we have concluded our show. Or maybe, I just ended it for my own expense; you have given me the courage to say this last piece of my artwork. You have always be the reasons behind my smiles and the sparkle I exude amidst the crowd. I don’t really want it to be gone; I am enjoying the thrill and jump it provides me. You have provided me a shelter of hope of how I can feel it again. You’ve become the switch of slumbering heart, that was been burrowed for quite a time. I know what I just have to do now, but before you completely leave the picture, together with your message of truth, allow me to say this for you, for I don’t want regretting not telling it to you, at least just in this small tribune I created myself vindicates everything above all what has been done and provided. This one I need to utter, whisper at least and then you can go: I LOVE YOU!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

My Wonders of DAVAO....

Destination: Davao
Thru: AirPhil Express
Duration: 1 hour and 45 minutes (from Manila)

It was a rainy afternoon in Manila (Quezon City to be specific) that almost lead me to tears and fear of not making it at the airport in time for my departure. I was sleepy at the cab, but the excitement drew me back of looking for airplanes in the sky, thinking if that was heading to Davao as well. I was booked to depart Manila at 8:45PM and expected to be at Davao City by past 10PM.My foot officially landed at Davao City airport at 10:56. Hurriedly, I went out of the airport and waited for my friend (Christian) to fetch me. I was about to light a cigar when he called me up on my mobile, informing me that they are on their way to the airport and told me not to light my cigar for it is prohibited which can cause me Ph 10,000 as penalty. I replied accordingly that I knew that it is not allowed in Davao after reading it on the website and putting back the single stick on the cigar case.

Mabuhay Taxi in my surprise was our ride through the city. We checked in past 11PM at the New Residency Hotel just to leave our things and head to the nearest bar for me to experience the life at night in Davao City. We went to a Shish a bar called “Some Place Else” a very popular place known for Shish a venture. I ordered grilled beef patty burger and some beers. Christopher (known as Topeng – Christian’spartner) told me that it was one of the very few spot were chilling is a market. This somehow, transpired by the other group of people aging around 17 and above that lurks the place. We finished 3 bottles of beers each before we decided to switch to a different place.Torres Compound – A “Malate Like” environment where most of the people are partying. This place is known from variants to variants from suburban theme dishes and music, to electronic to pop, hip-hop to r and b. I can say Davao is crazy at night. We continue our alcohol party at Jickong’s Bar where they have huge flat screen TV that plays Prince of Persia, which made me realize that it appears more as a movie house as to a club. Impatiently enough that I can’t handle I request to light my cigar which I have to do a specific spot where smoking is allowed. Mind you, beers and such alcoholic drinks are only allowed to be served until 12 midnight. Doing so after such timeframe would mean the line of your business to closure.

Which I find, justifiable, fair andclassic.Autoshop Compound – A “Timog Like” place where the bars are put in a class level to name a few were Fat Bobbies and Hybrid where I was introduced to some of their friends.Boyzone – Similar to “Palawan Bar” of Cubao, popularly known for gay clients. It was a videoke bar where everyone can sing while you enjoy shots of alcohol or in my case a cup of iced tea. It was past 2AM when we decided to go back at the hotel and rest for we will be having all possible fun fare activities by tomorrow.8AM when I woke up and hurriedly went out to check how Davao City looks like with the sun. It was pretty like Manila, each corners, highways, buildings, restaurants etc have something like I’ve been to in Manila. The highway just reminded me of Araneta Avenue, the Chinese inspired street facade just looked the same as what is it in Chinatown, Ermita. An alley that looks like Sampaloc, Manila. Which made me wonder that I am not in Manila anymore so I stopped thinking of Manila and started wondering what’s with Davao? As plan was set for us to visit Samal Island. A 30 minute land and ferry ride from Sta. Ana Wharf took us to the one of the wonders of Samal Island.

Destination: Maxima Resort – Pena Plata Island Garden – City of SamalA very familiar spot wherein I saw a week before Davao invasion is a man made slide featured in Trip na Trip (a tourist guide theme show in ABS-CBN). It was indeed a blast of surreal experience as we dive and swim the see that is 80 Meters deep. I was able to jump off the diving board landing to clear water on which you won’t be able to see visible land beneath the water. Gliding through the man made slide which again will bring you off all fears and excitement. Truly, I enjoyed the 3 hours stay at Maxima resort.Habal Habal – a native term they used for transportation. It was a motorcycle ride that made me faint on my knees for I am not that fond of riding motorcycles (due to a very disappointing experience).

Destination: Hagimit Falls
After Maxima, we went to Hagimit Falls. A garden restored park amidst the inviting cool waters of Hagimit. A very popular falls of Samal for the clear, cold and refreshing water that will surely leave you freezing. However, the sun that shines stood high makes it more inviting and enjoyable to experience. We only stayed at Hagimit for like an hour, for we will be needing to ride the “habal habal” thingy again for another 30 minutes for us to reach Talikud Island.
Talikud Island: Isla Reta Resort.

Another boat ride which only lasted for 10 to 15 minutes from the terrains of Samal. An isletwhere you can experience rich sand as Boracay. We were invited for a birthday party which made it more in vigorous. Dinner was set, with a lot to offer on my plate.

Humba” a native way to cook adobo. Even though it is somehow similar to adobo, it has more flavours on it. The bell pepper cuts enriched the taste of the soy sauce which for sure is a native produce one for it definitely tasted feisty and fiery from my taste buds to my throat.
After the dinner, we settle our tents and prepare for the night. We’ve discussed a lot of things about Davao and other islands surrounding it, on how beautiful it was compared to other provinces like Cebu, Iloilo, Dagupan, Bacolod etc.

Most of them were able to travel islands to islands, city to city, cheerful people to not. They were able to experience the beauty of Philippines. That being said made me realize to invite my sister (Angie) to celebrate her birthday outside the Metro. After a day, my sister phoned me, inviting me if I were interested to join her to Cebu on October 28-31 on which I am excited to experience as well.The sun shone at the horizon, together with it was scattering rain shower – which made the ambiance of Talikud Island so blessed. I woke up 4:00 AM watching the shore, thinking of what’s going to happen next, thinking of what will I be doing after Davao, in Manila? Is someone waiting for me to be back? Or is it just me thinking too much about it? I made some phone calls, I was afraid to ask the question. It’s not the right time.

6AM when the gates of Isla Reta opened, I roam through the alleys of Talikud Island, settle in a sari sari store and ordered a hot coffee. Generous enough, they provided hot water without a charge and sip on my hot coffee while smoking my Marlboro Lights. While sipping my coffee, I was observing how the people of Talikud Island spent their days in that beautiful environment. People are awaked as early as 6 AM. Some are preparing the church for the early mass; others were sweeping their verandas waiting for a friend to pass by and to chit chat with. Others are preparing a feast for a 7 year old girl celebrating her birthday – which made possible after winning the lottery. It was indeed an experience I still recall after 30 days of being at Davao. (That made this blog entry so late yet so fresh!)

I roam around the island by myself while my friends are still sleeping; I was asking a lot of questions to myself. What am I here for? Is it really just to forget? Or is it I am preparing for something bigger which I never thought would happen? Questions that made me a fool, forgetting to enjoy and relax the magnificent view of Samal through Talikud. It was 9AM when everyone was awake preparing the food for our lunch. I and Christian went snorkelling on the other side of the island. Starfishes, little fishes coloured grey and blue, flying fishes welcomes us beneath the white sand waters of Talikud. It was so far one of the best Island I’ve been through.
Wait for the continuation of my journey to Davao.


Friday, June 18, 2010

Magallanes Square Garden

My mind was proposing a lot of possible BlogSpot address name that I can incorporate for my personality. If Roman (probably the 1st link I will have on this blog thing) has Romepedia, I should also have my own version of Solopedia. However, being an artist of my own crazy thought, I couldn’t agree more that Romepedia is one HELL GREAT of a BlogSpot address and I don’t want to typecast of unoriginality issues with thereof. I am launching my own blog as it is (which until now doesn’t have a name)

Somehow, there is always a magical thought about FIRST TIME; all I can think of is that it is SPECIAL. It is not my first time to TAGAYTAY, but it is my first time to be at Magallanes Square Garden Hotel. A fancy but classic view of their veranda soothes a passage of relaxation. Limited amenities, there is but the hospitality of the people is indeed at high presence. Room 103, 32” flat screen TV, though not in HD covers all major cable network, a personal ref which helps us store 7 kilos of beef from Mahogany, a translucent glass designed lavatory, one queen size bed, one personal mattress, Wi-Fi enabled, free breakfast for only Php 3,000+ over night.

By the way did I mentioned, that I am with friends. Welcome- Tin, Albert and Joyce. It was originally planned as my personal getaway from busy city lifestyle, which then made them interested to join. Our first night was a blast; Joice was too generous enough to bring us some food: Chicken Pork Adobo and Grilled Bangus. The rice as seemed as hot it is, never prevented us to eat much of the Adobo, it was really mouth watery. Albert and Tin finished the dinner without hesitations, while I and Joice took our cigar break outside the hotel. All pack and full, we cannot let go of the night’s calmness and it’s cold. Coffee is one way to bring your soothing relaxation to the maximum. It’s kind of crazy though for they ordered ice blended drinks: Joice- Coffee Jelly Frappe, Tin –Strawberries and cream Frappe, Albert – Chocolate Frappe. While I enjoy my sip with the hot mint tea, which reminds me of my bestfriend-Majoh.
9:30pm we decide to jump back to our hotel and rest for we will definitely have an adventure by tomorrow morning. That night is not bound for any relaxation; it was created to have FUN. Excited to know who will won the first PILIPINAS GOT TALENT –
we tuned ourselves without any interruption to see who were part of the magic 3 as one by one they were called: JOVIT, BAGUIO DANCERS and VELASCO BROTHERS. Until to the point that they announced that it was JOVIC who won it with 2 million pesos on his pocket, pretty huge amount isn’t it. Albert precautious to check if WWF is still on air, while Tin is combing her hair upon preparing to watch Vampire Diaries on my laptop. I myself has my own agenda, went to the 24 hours open store to buy another pack of cigars and 8 tin cans of beers. While enjoying the cold moist of Tagaytay at the veranda where I can smoke and drink. In momentary, I was talking to some of my friends, that somehow I missed most, in order to validate a blast of my past. That was indeed a multi-task, drinking, smoking and talking. Joice will definitely attest to that. It was 2am and I had to say goodnight, and prepare for the morning’s activity.

7am was the call time for our breakfast. Originally we ordered for 1 bangus breakfast meal, 1 tocino, and 1 tapa. To no avail, we had 2 tapas and 1 tocino leaving Albert questioning why it was tapa until further notice that bangus was out of order.

Tin – my officemate who’s been jolly to ride tricycles from Picnic Grove to see the scenic Taal and the gardens, then to Olivares to buy all possible hanging plants that she was interested to buy for her mom. I myself am looking for butterfly wings however they don’t sell it anymore. On the contrary, Albert is just a gentleman enough to bring all the baggage we bought from every stop. Until, we decided to buy some beef at the famous – MAHOGANY market – 2 kilos of bulalo, 1kilo of tapa, 1 kilo of beef bone for kaldereta, 2 kilos for beef loin and 1 kilo for beef teppan.
It was past 10 when we get back to the hotel, planning to where we are going to have our lunch before heading home. KC was on cable with Toni, bonding as like as what bonds the three of us in Tagaytay. KC mentioned about 3 rules that she incorporated from Toni’s 3 rules in life: Have fun, keep the faith, and balance mind and heart. To easy enough, we couldn’t disagree that somehow it is one major rule that most people has in their life. (Not unless you’re the cynical, complex and uncommon type of person)

We had our lunch at Teriyaki Boy after checking that Leslie’s is fully booked. Over California Maki, 2 Katsudon and 1 Beef Teppanyaki, we revisited the scenic Taal which by then is viewable and never changed. It brought back memories, that my archives are actively feeding me- however I rather enjoyed it at my present with these people surrounding me.
It was past 3pm when we headed back to the hotel to get our things and fetch a bus on our way home. As what Joice instructed us, to leave at the afternoon since most of the time it rains. We were at the bus at quarter to 4pm and jolly ride on our way home. I was listening to Justin Timberlake’s album which made me interested to the song that much. While Tin and Albert usually engaged in their in depth conversation. It suddenly rained, while on our way home – traffic is mostly over the crossing of Cavite and South Express Way – but EDSA is totally free. We were at the terminal at 5pm and I was home by 6pm. I enjoyed it too much that it even get me sick for 2 days, but I am looking forward on our next month adventure since we will be celebrating Tin’s birthday. I wonder where we will be heading. – Somehow that’s the next thread that you will be looking for on my blog, which then made me realize that I actually have one way back 2006 so let me just revive it:, it’s never that complicated whenever it’s real. ENJOY!!!

Acknowledgement: Thank you Joice- for your generosity and friendship. Tin: thank you for the support and your open mind to understand my flaws whenever I’m looking for myself. Albert- thanks for inspiring me to finish this blog despite of my illness which then stopped after reminiscing my past. This is all for you. THANK YOU!

Saturday, May 13, 2006

love springs...

"love springs when you are about to embrace yourself to let go of your fears and conquer your doubts"

in loving you can find such peace, where silence is enough answer to our unending questions of life, not necessarily facts of life but all that can transpire with one meaning, which indeed is love...

in loving we break barriers, we move mountains, we create honest thoughts, quick relieving lovely gestures, everything is such in place, like the night touches the mist of the morning and the greens and plains....

in loving you can find the real beauty of your soul, like an endless song of sweet interlude and voyaging chorus, love was such a beauty, a beauty of what you should become in reality, forever...

in loving i found you and you found me, you liked every details of me, as much as i liked yours... in loving, i caress you, i care for you and you cared for me...

in loving, i love you...forever in loving i will for you....

Thursday, March 30, 2006

the truth....

...never lie...because a lie can never alter wrong from right...
ive been put to a test, wherein i lied and it kills me, i lie for the sake of not running myself for a great rescue but for a convenience which is valid simply if is done in truth...

i havent done anything wrong, when it comes in stabilizing one important thing in my life...relationship...
but it was put on verge, when a lie is strike where else truth is much easy to arrive in a point wherein nothing is supposed to be ignored...

i lie bacause i am afraid that you will not believe me if i tell you the truth...i lie because you can caught me in the middle wherein i can test your trust to me... but lie flip it or not is still lies... and it is not would cost you deep trouble... wherein you will be caught up like shit...and i dont want to experience that anymore...

trust is so hard to establish for some reasons, thats why it should always be taken care simply telling the truth...let me regain the small of piece of trust that i left... i will make up to it... i lie because it hurts me that you no matter how honest i am, you wouldnt still believe me...

but i learnt my lessons taught me to be like what i am today... from now on... the truth and only the truth will forever utters in my mouth... just like this... i love you...

= i am the love your soul has ever longed, but you keep on running... =